“This is the part of my life….”

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5am

I’ve been awake since 5 am, or should I say my mind has been awake since then. I didn’t sleep well last night, my mind was on hyperdrive thinking of all the things I needed to do, all the things that I have no control over and yet as I lay there trying to convince myself that I just need this last hour of sleep my brain doesn’t listen.

As I sit in front of my computer, skimming through Facebook, Youtube, you know the morning routine while I look at the clock dreading the thought of facing the world, masking the struggles and trying to fit in.  I sip my coffee, in hopes that it will fill me with the fake motivation I need to get through the day. As I fight thoughts of Maybe I should call in sick? Trying to syke myself into believing I want to be at work, I want to be around people.

Today I don’t feel anxious, I don’t feel depressed…. I just don’t feel anything right now… and I will take this numb feeling over anything else.

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Regards,

The Anxious Mind