January 10th 2017- Health

It was decided to start getting healthy at the start of 2017. It was mentioned in one of my posts how 2017 is my health year.

Not going to lie, it’s been real tough. It has been tough mentally and physically. It’s not necessarily the fact that I have cut out a lot of things from my diet and that I decided to get up at 6 am to go to the gym. What is tough is feeling like shit on my “rest days” and how quickly my mood swings in the evening.

I started the health kick January 4th, that was the first gym day and the first day of tracking what I ate. The first couple days I felt amazing, despite the fact that nothing seemed to fill this crazy hunger I experienced, however, I have noticed lately that I have crazy mood swings and the last couple days I have felt a little down in the dumps.

I am sure this is a part of the whole health kick, and I know that when I’m hungry I get “hangry”. Essentially its look out, if I don’t eat food soon I won’t be civil.  I just know that the last couple days as soon as I get home from work, I just want to go to bed and not talk to anyone.  Actually, right now I’m laying in bed, lights off and the only light in my room is from my MacBook, TV, and fake fireplace heater. Other than that I’m in the dark, alone ( well my kitty is next to me). Right now I feel content and cant wait until I go to sleep

I honestly thought that when I started this health kick that I would feel amazing, but its slowly being a struggle on the mental side of things.  I on the brighter side of this, acheieveI have a goal in mind and I am dedicated to this goal!achieve it. I understand that this is just another hurdle I need to get through and use the tools I’ve learned to beat it

Hopefully next week, after being at the gym for two weeks, I will start feeling “happier”


The Anxious Mind.


Yearend Update

Hello WordPress,

Just a heads up this going to be a massive update, I know I haven’t made a good post in a while so this is my way of making it up.   I will divide it under headlines so if anything sticks out you can just jump there or Hell grab a coffee and start reading through.

Anxiety/Depression Update

Let’s get into it, Anxiety and Depression update. October was my last therapy session and I can honestly say I think it might have been my last. I have been coping quite well with the anxieties of my life and understanding my triggers. I can’t say I have been anxiety free, though I know I have been at the lowest point of anxiety I could ever see myself at

I am quite happy with where my life is at and I think that is half the battle with anxiety. Understanding that I cannot control everything, things happen for a reason and if situations arise that cause me great deals of anxiety that I need to understand that its out of my control, but I personally do not need to be out of control.

Though I do recognize that I still need to work on some things, and understanding some of my social anxiety triggers. When I am surrounded by certain people it sends me in a fight/flight mode. I battle with my anxieties and tend to self-medicate with alcohol. I know I use this as a way to “loosen” up when things get tense and anxieties fly. Recognizing this, I know it is something I need to work on in the future and find alternative methods to handle social anxiety stresses

On the Depression front, I still have down days. I still have days where I don’t want to leave the house, don’t feel motivated to do anything and struggle to focus.  These feelings do not usually last as long as they use to and I often find ways to focus my negative energy on something else.  Depression was a huge thing for me in the past, however not so much as I’ve gotten older. Occasionally the black dog visits and I try to just let him do his thing and move on.

All in all Anxiety and Depression no longer run my life, With the social supports that I have, the therapy I went through and the coping skills I have learned. I no longer let anxiety control everything about my life.

Mental Health Year Recap

This leads to my next topic. My mental health year.  2016, although I had other plans, became my mental health year. This was the year that I finally took a stand to handle my mental illness and start taking charge of my life.  It started with re-evaluating my relationships with people and cutting out toxic relationships. I found that even taking that step had helped a lot on my mental health. It also helps strengthen my support system. by focusing my energy on my support system, it allowed me to build the friendships that I hold so dear to my heart. There are people in my life now that I can honestly say I’d be lost without them being a part of it.

The next step of my mental health year was finally admitting that I needed more help than my friends/support system could provide at the time. With the help of a dear friend, I finally took the big step and referred myself to a counseling service.  things moved really fast, what was suppose to be a 3-month waiting list turned into a month waiting list for my first session on May 26th, 2016.

I had therapy sessions from May to about October 2016, these sessions allowed me to talk out my issues, learn new skills and essentially give me the confidence I needed to attack the things that caused a great deal of anxiety in my life. It also allowed me to enjoy life for the first time without worry beyond belief and being crippled by anxiety.

With therapy and my new found circle of friends, this year has been filled with amazing experiences and allowed for 2016 to be my mental health year.

Health Year 2017

Now that I have my head on straight, its time to focus on a healthy lifestyle. I know some of you might be thinking, isn’t mental health wellness and health connected. That you have to be healthy to help battle your mental health. I would have to agree, however, I found that I really needed to grab my mental health by the horns and really focus on that first. Next step health, I’ve learned that I have to focus on manageable goals, not huge things that won’t get accomplished.

So 2017, will be my health year, Healthy eating, healthy life and slowly cut out bad foods and habits. Yes, I know it kinda sounds like a new years resolution, but in a way it really is. I just am one of those people that would rather prefer start on the first of the year (lol)

I am looking forward to this journey of making my life better and I am glad that I am finally starting to figure this so call life out.

General Life Update

Lastly, some general updates on my life in the last few months.

My parents came down for a winter vacation to visit the family and take care of some things. This was also perfect timing as they were expecting their first grandbaby. Yup folks that’s right, In December I became an aunty to a cute little niece. She is still pretty new, which means I have been kinda hesitant to pick her up and stuff. You know that fear of breaking her.

Right now I am just relaxing for the holidays, I managed to get 11 days off for Christmas vacation so I have been neglecting anything work related and just sit back and relax. I know it will be a little anxiety rise come January 3rd, when I return to work, however, I’ll probably start weeding out my email the night before 😛

Well if you made it this far, Thank you!  2016 has been a hectic year, however, it was one of my better years when it came to taking care of myself.


The Anxious Mind.