Burnout and a Bunch of Mix Thoughts

I’m emotionally burnt out right now. I haven’t felt this emotionally drained in so long. I feel so exhausted trying to ensure that my mental state doesn’t affect my job, my relationship and my friendships. 

I have been struggling a lot to keep up with everything that I am so exhausted. I’m even too exhausted to fight this anxiety. 

Because of this emotional burnout my anxiety really got a hold of me yesterday. It was so bad that if I wasn’t talking to a dear friend, I’m pretty sure those dark thoughts would have taken over. 

I really struggle with those dark thoughts and yesterday they were creeping in and completely taking over my thoughts.  Little does anyone know but think about life and not existing in it a lot. I think about how the people I surround myself would be much better off without me.  The last few days I’ve purposely shut myself off from the world and only invites the ones I want in. 

Yesterday’s conversation with my friend really helped me get everything out and mentally prepare to leave the house.. even when I was finding all of the excuses  why I should stay home.

When I go through things like this, trust is always a huge factor. I don’t talk to people about things like this if I don’t trust you. This friend is probably one of a few people I trust completely, probably explains why I can talk to them so freely.

Eventually I started snapping back into what I call a normal state, with a hint of anxiety… instead of the other way around.

I managed to go ahead with my plans, met up with a friend and had afternoon drinks…. a lot of them… I no longer felt anxious, I was able to laugh and I was able to be worry free for a few hours.

I still feel burnt out from the week, and I’m looking forward to my two extra days off, however I’m content for now. I’m hoping to stay content and not be anxious today.. I can handle another emotional breakdown

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